Cara and Phil's Barberstown Castle Wedding | A Fun, Joy-Filled Destination Wedding in Ireland
There is something brilliant about an American wedding party arriving in Ireland for a three day celebration. Everyone arrives in holiday mode, wedding stress is quickly forgotten because you’re away in another country with your family, your best friends and of course your sweetheart (in Cara & Phil’s case, college sweethears). Even I forget I was in Kildare and thought I was on holiday too. By the time the wedding day itself rolls around there is already a kind of weekend long love story in motion, celebrating every friendship, family connection and of course the love story that got us all here on a sunny December weekend. Cara and Phil's Barberstown Castle wedding had all of that and more. A hundred and something New Yorkers, ten bridesmaids, ten groomsmen, an Italian American family being joined to an Irish-American family, a friend officiating with personal vows, and two of the easiest, loveliest people I have ever photographed at the centre of it all.
Cara and Phil found me online attracted to the idea of living their wedding weekend fully without posing, while I quietly doumented. They told me early on that they are not a couple who pose for photos much, that they don't take many photos together at all, but that they wanted beautiful ones from their wedding of course. That is exactly the brief I love. Documentary, unposed, observed rather than directed. We met for an engagement shoot at Barberstown back in February to get to know each other a little and get them comfortable enough with the camera for those few beautiful posed shots they wanted. From that first evening I knew the wedding was going to be a joy.
They chose Ireland because Phil's family are Irish. They chose Barberstown because its a gorgeous real Irish castle which is also just thirty minutes from Dublin Airport, which made life easy for the wave of guests flying in from New York. It is a beautifully restoreed thirteenth century castle in Straffan, Co. Kildare, set in twenty acres of grounds, and it has the rare ability to hold a really big wedding while still feeling intimate.
A Pub Night to Begin: The Rehearsal Dinner
I joined Cara and Phil for a few hours on the evening of the 28th for their rehearsal dinner in the pub at Barberstown. Think snugs, an open fire, dark wood, low light, and a casual feel that allows everyone to relax into a Christmas drinks evening. It was a proper pub night. Drinks first, then a buffet about an hour in, then a speech from Phil's twin sister Kate that got everyone a little teary. I don’t know what it’s like to be a twin but I imagine it’s really lovely if you genuinely adore your twin’s partner, like these guys clearly do.
Cara floated through the evening in a white Anthropologie dress. This was a dress so beautiful you could get married in it but also so comfortable you could just wear it to float through your rehearsal dinner night laughing with your girlfriends in a pub. There was nothing performative about this evening, pure chill with friends, every photo I took of Cara and Phil was just noticed not posed. The whole evening gave me a chance to meet everyone properly and see how Cara and Phil naturally interact with the people they love, which is a real gift the night before for me.
Wedding Morning: Memory Books and Tayto Crisps
Kevin and I got to photograph the wedding day together which is always a lovely chill way to do it. I just hung out with the girls, Kevin with the guys.
In Cara's suite, ten bridesmaids in matching pyjamas, controlled chaos, and a lot of hangover cures going down. Just before Cara stepped into her dress, the bridesmaids gave her a memory book they had put together, full of notes and photos and years of friendship. She had no idea it was coming. She read just enough pages of it to be really moved and then had to stop before the tears flowed down her freshly made up face for her wedding! It was a warm, intimate moment in a room full of people, which is exactly the kind of thing I am always watching for.
Cara's dress was big and dramatic and properly fit for a castle. The bridesmaids wore black, none matching but all so chic. The flowers were in deep Christmas reds. The whole styling had a romantic, slightly gothic feel that suited Barberstown Castle perfectly in late December.
Phil's room was a different kind of joy. All the lads, all the dads, beers in red plastic party cups, Tayto crisps on the table, somebody's playlist going. They wandered down to the conservatory at one point to do a quick ceremony rehearsal, still holding their cans. It was the most relaxed, pre wedding rehearsal we have ever seen and a good window into how Phil was approaching the day.
The Ceremony: Personal Vows in the Conservatory
The ceremony was held in the conservatory, with its large glass windows and ceilings flooding the room with natural light, period style furniture and chandeliers and a large stone fireplace at one end of the room. It is, quite honestly, one of the most beautiful ceremony rooms in Ireland. It does not need much in the way of styling. The light does the work, the medieval tapestry and stone wall do the rest, and on a 29th of December that meant cold winter sun pouring through the glass right onto Cara and Phil. Both Cara's parents walked her down the aisle, which is something I always love seeing. There was no first look beforehand. They wanted the first time they saw each other on the day to be in the ceremony itself. Their friend officiated. Having a close friend lead a ceremony changes the temperature of a room, giving it more of an air of informality like speeches during drinks. It just feels like the people who love them most talking to and about them.
Phil cried first during the vows (then we all did). He made a sweet, self aware joke about how, as a lawyer, public speaking doesn’t usually make him cry, but this was very different. The room laughed and welled up at the same time.
The room cheered and whooped for the first kiss and Phil dipped Cara in the aisle. A big moment of collective joy before the formal photos and drinks.
Running Around a Castle: Family, Bridal Party and Couple Portraits
The ceremony finished at 3.10pm. By 4.20pm it would be dark dark (29 December in Ireland!). So we had roughly an hour of daylight to do family photos, bridal party photos and couple portraits. With 22 in the wedding party, families on both sides who we knew would love individual shots at the castle, and a couple as game as Cara and Phil, we made a speed trail joke of it all to match the fun, lighthearted mood of the day. Speed transitions while holding drinks doesn’t exactly scream “formal photos” but remember formal doesn’t have to mean stress.
Couple Portraits & Cocktail Hour
All family combos and bridal party set ups done we were down to 20 minutes or so of daylight for couple photos. So we ran. Kevin and I literally moved Cara and Phil from one corner of the castle to another, working out angles on the fly, calling locations, Cara and Phil joining in spotting and shouting locations as we walked. They laughed the whole way through. There was no precious energy, no self consciousness, just two people on holiday at their own wedding enjoying letting the photographers do their thing.
Cocktail Hour in a Castle
The cold, dry, sunny day gave us beautiful low winter light outside. We ducked back inside for some indoor portraits before the daylight gave out completely. A few minutes later, we were back at drinks lit by candles and festoon lights in nne of the coolest and most unique spots for cocktail hour in Ireland.
Speeches, First Dance and a Band That Filled the Floor
The speeches were really lovely across the board. There was no single show stealer because they were all carrying the same thread: real, evident joy from both families (and lifelong best friends) that these two had chosen each other.
The first dance was followed by a father daughter dance and a mother son dance, an American tradition I always think is gorgeous. The band took the room from there. It was a busy dance floor from the first beat, all ages on their feet, like a nightclub after a holiday night out (which in a way of course it was).
A Modern Documentary Wedding Photographer at Barberstown Castle
Photographing Cara and Phil reminded me why I love shooting the way I shoot. They wanted real photos, not staged ones. They wanted to enjoy their day, live every minute of it like their guests, not perform it. They wanted their families and their friendships to come through honestly. As a documentary wedding photographer (working mostly in Dublin, Wicklow, Kildare and Meath) this is exactly the kind of wedding I love best. Big enough to feel like a proper party, intimate enough to feel like everyone actually knows each other, and held by people who trust me to watch and wait.
Kevin Kheffache was second photographing with me on the wedding day, and as ever, having two documentary photographers in the room means we cover both sides of every moment without anyone feeling watched.
Cara and Phil, thank you for trusting us to document your wedding weekend/holiday, and for making it as much fun for us as it clearly was for you!
